I Am An Addict

WARNING: This blog entry isn’t about Korea. It only applies to people who use the Internet. If that is not you, you may press the "back" button or close your browser to leave this page.

NOTE: If you’re stumbling upon my blog for the first time, (welcome!) please know that these thoughts are coming from a technologically savvy 20-something. These thoughts about Internet usage are often brought up by older generations who haven’t grown up as “digital natives”, but I want to note that these ideas are not limited to those older generations.

Internet Addiction. It’s not a new concept. You’ve probably heard it mentioned in the newspaper or in a psychology textbook but never gave it much thought because you think, “that could never happen to me.” There’s even skepticism among psychologists and other medical professionals of if Internet addiction is a real medical problem. However, after doing some personal evaluating of my own, I think it’s fair to say that it exists, whether it’s legitimate enough to be considered a “real” addiction or disorder by professionals or not. In fact, I think a lot of people these days suffer from it in some way or another. I will admit here and now to you all, that I am one of those people. Yes ladies and gentleman, I am. My name is Melissa and I have an Internet addiction. Guess what? You probably do too.

The information I use in this entry comes from a New York Times piece from 2010 on Internet addiction

, which I came across initially as a base for a discussion with my advanced-level English conversation class. After reading the article about the indicators of Internet dependence, I realized that some of my behaviors fit into that category. What shocked me the most was that some of the “symptoms” listed in the article were things I were aware of, but were what I considered to be simple lifestyle changes to accommodate the existence of technology. It wasn’t until I read this article that these behavior changes could be signs of an addiction, or at least a “dependence.” Therefore, I truly believe that many of us have some version of this and probably don’t know it. As for me, I am now on a self-proclaimed road to recovery. I hope you’ll all join me.

According to the New York Times article, the signs of Internet addiction, or Internet dependence, are:
- Checking your e-mail before doing other things
- Frequently anticipating the next time you’ll be online
- You say “just a few more minutes” or “just a minute” when someone needs your attention when you’re online
- Lying or trying to hide how long you’ve been online
- Choosing to spend time online rather than going out with others
- Getting a lift from a depressed or nervous mood from going online
- Others in your life complain about how much time you spend online or using technology

At first when I read these, I didn’t think they applied to me.

OK yes, I check my e-mail first thing in the morning, and every single time I return to my computer whether or not it’s been 5 minutes or 6 hours since my last visit. But that’s all. Right? The information in this article stuck in my mind and the following week or so, I found myself comparing and evaluating my actions. After some time, I realized, damn, maybe I do have an Internet addiction. You probably don’t think you do these things either, but these signs aren’t as flat out obvious as you think. For example, I don’t whine, “one more minuuuuuuute” when someone wants my attention. I do, however, say, “hang on a sec” while I finish writing e-mail or Facebook post or watching a video on youtube. If someone is calling me or waiting for me outside, or even waiting to talk to me in person, I feel obligated to finish whatever I’m doing on the internet before I can focus on them. 98% of the time, the things I am doing are not important or time sensitive. Is this true for you? It very well might be.

I don’t blatantly lie about how much time I spend online, but I do catch myself shutting my computer and trying to look like I’m doing something else when Val or a friend suddenly enters my apartment. Also, if someone asks you how much time you spend on Facebook/e-mail/Twitter/blog-reading/surfing the net, would you give a true answer? Due to shame and fear of being judged, I probably wouldn’t. Also, do you quickly close Facebook or Twitter if someone is walking by you & your computer? One reason may be that you're at work and not supposed to be on Facebook, but if that's the case, why are you on there in the first place?

I don’t sit in excitement for my next online log-in, but I do think about the next time I’ll be online when I’m out and about. I ask myself, “how will I write about this on Facebook?” or “I wonder how people will react to this stuff on Facebook or Twitter” or “I wonder how many new e-mails I have.” Do you think about these things too?

Finally, I do feel a sense of relief once I’m online and “connected” to people. It would be easy for me to say that I like being online because I like being connected to people, but I have a phone. I have a voice. There are people all around me. I can easily connect with people without using the Internet. I even tried to make an excuse, saying that “well I use Facebook and check my e-mail so much because I’m so far away from my family that it is how I can communicate with them often.” My wise boyfriend pointed out that that is probably what everyone says. I’m sure when I’m back in the States and closer to my family and friends, my Internet usage won’t change.

It is not easy to admit these things. Not at all. (In fact, as I write this I occassionally am asking myself, "do you really want to post this for everyone to see? What will people think of you?"). For someone who values her strong will, it is very defeating to admit these weaknesses, especially for a public audience. The reason I’m doing it is for you all. Yes, I am a martyr for my cause. I’m hoping that if you see someone who you know and like (I hope?) admitting to this problem and trying to fix it, that it won’t be so scary for you to do the same. You don’t have to blog it to the whole virtual universe, but maybe it will spark some action on your part. The nice part is that probably everyone around you has an Internet addiction or dependence in some degree. Some are worse than others but still, I think it’s safe to say that everyone is in the same boat here. So let's dock and get off so we can start enjoying the real world that's not on a screen!

You might say, “How can I be addicted to the internet? It’s everywhere, it's unavoidable. It’s not like I seek it out, it’s just there. If I use the internet all the time it’s just because it’s a necessity these days.” You’re right, in a sense. In fact, only a few months before the New York Times article came out, the BBC released the results of a poll revealing that 4 in 5 people worldwide believe that internet access is a fundamental human right. Additionally, the article said that most governments regard the internet as part of basic infrastructure like roads, waste disposal, and water. Interesting, huh? It makes sense then that NYT article would liken an Internet addiction to an eating disorder, where someone has a consumption problem with a life necessity. You can’t live without food, so you can’t cut it completely from your life. In that way, it's basically impossible to completly disconnect yourself from the cyber world. Instead, the article says, someone who suffers from something like this must learn how to control and moderate usage.

That makes a whole lot of sense to me. With most people carrying around smart phones or tablets, internet access is all around us, especially here in Korea. It might seem like its unavoidable, but the truth is that you have a choice. There are ways to moderate your usage. Unfortunately, these days it takes an active effort to do so.

So, how do you do it? I’m no expert, but here are some things that I’ve been doing to reduce my dependence. You should try it! It’s very liberating.

1.) I set a number of times per day that I check my e-mail, Facebook, blog replies, etc.(when I’m not at work sitting in front of computer). For example, on Saturday and Sundays I try to check my e-mail and Facebook only twice; once in the morning and once in the evening. After work on weekdays, I try to make it just one time. When I do log on, I try not to spend more than 10-15 minutes surfing. This has proven to be a lot more difficult than I expected. Last weekend I went an entire day without turning on my computer, but I found myself thinking about and wanting to go online, even while I was out and about with Val. Yikes!

2.) If you have a smart phone (which I don’t but Val does and this is his suggestion), turn off your notifications so your phone doesn’t beep every time you get an e-mail, Facebook response, or new tweet for someone you’re following. Your inbox and Facebook page are still at your disposable, you just have to make the effort to go there to look. You can easily do tip #1 with this method because you’re not being beckoned by your phone every 5 minutes.

3.) (numbers 1 & 2 will be much easier if you…) Post less on the internet. The less you post or comment on, the less notifications you have, the less you have to look at, thus the less time you will spend online. As much as you desire to tweet about the delicious sandwich you just ate or post on your Facebook status about how you’re at the grocery store with this person and this person at this location and OMG they have cabbage in stock!, hold your tongue and make the active choice not to. Chances are people don’t give a crap about that stuff anyway.

4.) If you’re home alone and/or bored, have something else within easy reach to do instead of surfing the net. Recently I’ve pulled out the few books I have with me from the back of the TV stand and put them on my bedside table. When I’m home from work and want to relax, after my allotted 10-15 minutes on the computer, I SHUT IT OFF and PUT IT AWAY and pick up my book instead. It’s much easier to not be temped with “oh wait there’s one more thing I want to check on FB/search on Google, etc” when you have to move from the spot you’re sitting, take out your computer, turn it on, and open your browser. By the time you’ve done that you’ve probably forgotten about that super important thing was you just HAD to do before moving on with your life was anyway. This happens to me a lot….

5.) This suggestion comes from the article. If you have a smart phone, leave it at home occasionally. My thoughts: easier said than done! A lot of people feel an emotional attachment to their phone, so I recommend starting small. Forgot something at the grocery store and gotta make a quick run back? Leave your phone at home. If there’s an emergency, there will be other people around with a cell phone who can help you. If that’s too much, leave your phone in your car while you go into the store. Meeting a friend for coffee? Leave your phone at home or, again, in the car. Eating dinner with your family? Turn it OFF and leave it in the other room. The world will not end if you do not answer that e-mail from work or respond to that Facebook status RIGHT NOW. Believe me, it won’t. Remember back in the day when we couldn’t check e-mail on our phones? The world didn’t end. You didn’t get fired. So relax.

6.) If these seem too daunting for you, if anything, simply make the polite effort to keep your phone away when you’re with friends. One of the things I hate the most is when friends have their cell phone on the table in front of them while we are at dinner, coffee, or just hanging out. If conversation lulls for more than 10 seconds, my friends’ heads are down, looking at their phone. Unless you’re waiting for an important phone call, this is downright rude. This rule does not change if you’re with your best friend or your brother or at a job interview or at a party. It’s rude, no matter the situation. It really surprises me how many people don’t seem to realize that.

On that note, when the moment comes that your phone does ring or beep or vibrate or set off fireworks or whatever they do these days, excuse yourself before answering. Same thing applies if you suddenly have the urge to check something on the Internet from your phone. Basic manners, people!! Don’t forget them.

Mrs. Peacock would be ashamed.

My journey of disconnecting from the Internet has been a short one so far (only a few weeks) but it has proven to be difficult. This proves all the more to me that an Internet dependence exists in my life. These days, people may believe that Internet addiction is just a part of life and it's not a problem because everyone has it. If everyone has a problem, is it a problem, or a social behavior? Oh the philosophical and sociological questions that be. Either way, if Internet dependence is just a fact of life today, then that is very, very sad life we are living. If people don't start to recognize this problem, humans will live out the rest of our existence with our heads down, eyes on our phones and computers. So look up! Enjoy the beautiful world that is around you. Observe the faces, the architecture, the fly on the wall, the rice paddies flying by you on the train (OK maybe that just applies to me in Korea). Have a short conversation with the stranger sitting next to you on the bus. Read a book. Read a magazine. Close your eyes and really listen to that music that's playing in your headphones or from your laptop speakers. There aren't hard things to do. It's what people did before smart phones and computers. Heck, its probably what YOU did about 6 years ago. The Internet will always be there, so join me in my effort to take the precious time we have and enjoy the world and the company around us right now. Here, I'll start. I'm ending this entry now. I will read it over, edit it, and then I will then press the "Publish Post" button and enter these thoughts into the cyber universe, open to any and all comments. I PROMISE not to incessently check for comments on this blog entry, or on the Facebook post I will make to share this blog. In fact, I will wait until I get home to post it, so I'm not tempted while I'm sitting in front of my work computer for the rest of the day. It will be really, really hard. But I promise I will do it. And when I promise you, Almighty Internet, I can't go on back it.

Reflections

T-minus 20 days until my Korean adventure is over, and only 2 weeks of teaching left. I’m starting to clean out my work desk and getting ready to pull out my suitcases and start packing. It’s really the end. I’m already contemplating in my head my response to the question I will inevitably encounter: “How was Korea?” It’s a really funny question because Korea became my home, my life. After a while, Korea just became the place I was living. Of course, it presented more challenges than a city in my home country, but those challenges just became a part of everyday life. I expect my answer to the question to be, “it was an experience.” Did I enjoy every minute of it? No. Was it challenging? You bet. Were there things I enjoyed? Of course. It will say this: It was a challenging year during which I faced a lot of questions, hardships, and tough situations. But when you think about it, so does everyone and that is what makes you the person you are. Good or bad, Korea has definitely helped shape the person I am. To quote my wise boyfriend, “life is full of things that make one strong even if they don’t want to.”

Valery and I recently reflected on the past year. It began with me asking him if he thought he had changed since he came to Korea back in December ’09. He said he definitely had, and he knows I have too. I totally agree. The most noticeable change I’ve seen in myself is that I’m surer of myself now. After having lived in a place where you stick out like a sore thumb (in appearance and behavior) and are thus judged and stared at regularly, you simply cannot spend your energy worrying about what other people think of you. As a waygookin, no matter how much you try to fit in and please the people around you, they will still stare and judge. To be happy here, you really have to be OK with who you are and accept the differences. Val & I discussed this weekend how being the minority (in any sense) is an experience that everyone should have at least once in their life, even if it’s for a few days, because that is where true self assuredness comes from. If you can still be OK with who you are when you are judged, watched, excused from norm expectations because “that’s just how you are”, refused service, etc, that is an achievement. I’m not saying that I don’t care at all what other people think, because unless you’re a complete psychopath, you are aware of and tend to the emotions of other people. However, being OK with who you are even when the people around you judge you for it is not an easy feat. The only way you can have that experience, I think, is an in-your-face reality check.

Also, I believe I am more tolerant now. Not to say that I was intolerant before, but I have such a deeper understanding of people who are different than me. I mean, WOW. If I had to choose which place was the most unlike America, I would choose Korea (or perhaps another Asian country…hard to say since I’ve only been here). I was never a fan of East and West categorizations (“in the Western world, people do/say/think _____”), but it is so clear to me know how different an Eastern (aka Asian) viewpoint is. I understand life and the world in such a different way now, and I appreciate my new perspective, because it is an important one.

I’m not an expert at this. While my Anthropology degree gives me a slight academic lens to this whole thing, to me it’s the climate of the social interactions that determines how “different” I consider that country to be. You can use anthropological, economic, psychological, or sociological jargon to describe to someone why/how things are different, but any human being, educated or not, can sense the dynamic of a social situation. That is what I try to convey to my readers and my friends. I hope I have succeeded in doing that.

My life here has exposed me to two different cultural perspectives: Korean and Cameroonian. I recently said to a friend how 75% of the time I feel like I’m in Korea, and the other 25% I feel like I’m in Cameroon. I feel like I understand the social dynamics of Cameroonian situations due to the significant time I’ve spent with many different Cameroonians in small groups, large gatherings, and one-on-one. Just like when Americans get together in Korea, we act like Americans and do things the American way and expect American social norms to be followed. So when Cameroonians get together, we might as well be in Cameroon. We are eating Cameroonian food, listening to Cameroonian music, discussing Cameroonian issues in a Cameroonian matter. There are expectations for how people are supposed to act in these settings, and I’ve learned them in an almost classroom-like manner. I come home from these events and have a discussion about it with my “teacher”, Val. I express my confusions and questions, and he gives me an explanation which I apply the next time around. I truly believe that when eventually make it to Cameroon, there won’t be much that will surprise me in terms of social interaction. In fact, one of Val’s friends said to him this weekend at a Cameroonian party (which I helped host with some of the Cameroonian girls) that he really likes and appreciates how comfortable I am around Cameroonians and how it truly feels like I am one of them. That comment means so, so much to me, especially since I am still “myself” when I’m around them. It’s proof that I’ve found a way to make changes in order to make our interactions natural for them, but still comfortable for me.

I feel very enriched by everything I’ve encountered this year. I'll be interested to hear your observations about the changes you see in me when I get home.


On a COMPLETELY unrelated note, I have some reflections about divorce and children’s movies. A recent “victim” of a parental divorce, I am newly sensitive to this issue. Yesterday Val & I went to the movies to see “Mr. Popper’s Penguins”. (It was, by the way, our first movie-in-the-theater date ever!) If you don’t know about this movie, it features Jim Carrey as a divorced workaholic who ends up receiving penguins as a gift from his deceased father. His young children who live with their Mom don’t like him because he is boring and works too much, yada yada yada. Long story short, the penguins teach him about love and family (go figure?) and SPOILER ALERT he and his wife get back together at the end of the movie. The moment the divorced parents and young children situation was presented in the film, I knew that the parents would end up together again at the end. Then it occurred to me that all the children’s movies I could think of that have divorced parents (The Parent Trap and Mrs. Doubtfire, to name a few) all end with every child’s secret wish: their separated parents falling in love with each other again. I wonder… is this a positive message for kids? Not that divorce is a good thing, but you can’t ignore the fact that it’s becoming more and more prevalent in American society. Many kids are growing up with divorced parents. Can you think of a movie for children that present divorce in a less negative light? I can’t. These movies give false hope to kids about their parents falling for each other once again, and teach them that that the only way they can have a happy ending themselves is if their parents are together. Now, false hope is a theme for many adult movie-goers (because yeah, in real life that the smokin’ hot, sweet, flirtatious musician barista (baristo?) at your local Starbucks is going to be single/straight/not a huge player…NOT), but children can’t separate fact from fiction as easily as adults. The way we envy (but understand the fantasy of) the Hollywood romantic chance encounters with impossibly perfect people, children envy the kids in these movies. I really wonder if this is the right way to present divorce to kids. Then again, Hollywood sends lots of bad messages. This one was particularly interesting to me because it’s a children’s movie that deals with an issue that many children are dealing with currently. Kids don’t go to movies for the same reason we do. Adults often see movies to escape our messed up, problem-laden lives and enter into someone else’s perfect one where there is a guaranteed happy ending. Kids go to see movies to learn about life. It’s one thing to let a kid fantasize about their dog being able to talk or discovering they have superpowers, but another to let them believe that they can’t have a happy ending if their parents remain divorced.

I’ll leave you with those unrelated reflections. I’m curious about your thoughts on these, readers.

Keep your eyes out for a final entry or two in the next few weeks!

Cheers!
-Melissa

"You want to go eat WHAT?"

Anyeong!

The reality of me leaving Korea and going back home has gotten me thinking. My past few posts could make you think that I've resisted every aspect of Korean culture. I haven't. There are many sayings, gestures, etc. that have become so natural to me that it's hard to define them anymore. Just to prove to you, here's a list things that are so second nature that you might catch me doing or saying them when I return stateside next month. A lot of these became apparant to me during my vacation to Malaysia and Thailand, especially the restaurant-related things. Actually, you'll see that a lot of these are food related.

• Speaking Konglish (Korean + English). I tend to incorporate the very little Korean I do know into my normal conversations. For example: "Lunch was so mashisoyo [delicious] today!" "Pali pali [hurry], we don't want to be late." "Hey chingus! [friends]" "Milk opseyo [there is no milk]". OR, you might even catch me speaking English like Koreans do. Example: "That shirt costs much money." or, "Ugh, octopus is not delicious!


• Making an "X" with my arms (or sometimes index fingers) to indicate that I don't want something. For example, if I'm ordering food, I might say "I'll have the salad, but no olives." [*makes "X" with arms*]


• Slurping my food


• Instead of sucking noodles up from the plate, I might place them on a spoon by picking some up with my chopsticks and swirling them in a circulur motion (like preparing a soft-serve ice cream cone) while slowly lowering them towards the spoon so the noodles are in a neat pile. This is how Koreans eat noodles, especially if they are in soup. It's actually a good system because it gives the noodles a chance to cool off before you eat them. This is good when Koreans like their food piping hot and I would like to keep my taste buds THANK YOU VERY MUCH.


• Eating with chopsticks like a champion.


• Waving goodbye or hello with two hands, especially to friends.


• Happily eating shrimp or clams. These are the "safest", most normal, and most familiar seafood to me in a sea (pun intended) of octopus, prawn, squid, and jellyfish-laden food in Korea, so I am relieved if I can find a dish with only those in it.


• Really enjoying (and often craving) eating dried seaweed. Still can't stand it when it's wet and slimy in soup or vegetable salad, but it's really quite good when it's dry and seasoned with salt and olive oil. It comes in packages like this, and I sometimes eat it straight from the package as a snack.

• Wishing everyone a good meal before we eat. Koreans always say Jalmukesumneda before people start eating. It translates directly into "eat a lot", but the meaning is the same as bon apetit. I actually really enjoy this becuase it makes the meal more special, more ceremonial. Saying "enjoy your meal" turns people sitting at a table together into a community of people eating a meal together. This is probably something I'll make an active effort to continue even if I never return to Korea.


• Taking off my shoes whenever I go inside a home or restaurant.
  
  


• Becoming complacent with mediocre Italian food (though I am determined to change this the minute my feet touch American soil!)
  


• Giving and taking things with both hands, or with one hand touching the elbow of the outstretched arm. This is the polite way to give or recieve something in Korea, especially money or a gift.
  
  


• Pouring everybody else's drinks at the table. In Korea, you're never supposed to fill your own glass (especially with alcohol). Or, if you are pouring my drink, I will pick up the cup from the table and hold it with both hands (or with one as I described above) as you pour.
  


• Looking for a button on the table at a restaurant to press for attention from the waiter or waiter. My friends & I call it the "yo-gi-oh button" because yo-gi-oh means "over here" in Korean. It's what you shout when you're ready to order at a restaurant. Most places have buttons, though, which you can press for immediate attention from the staff.


• Forgetting to ask for the check at a restaurant. Here, as soon as order the waiter or waitress will bring you the bill and set it on the corner of the table. Then you bring the check up to the cashier and on your way out. In Thailand and Malaysia we all found ourselves puzzled that we got up to leave and realized we didn't have the check. We were all used to not having to ask for it!


• Bowing my head and upper body when saying hello, goodbye, or thank you.
  

I'm sure there are more, but that's a good list to start with I think. I wonder what American tendencies I'm no longer doing...

See you all very soon!
Love, Mel

Malaysia & Thailand Vacation

Time really flies. I can’t believe it’s September. I can’t believe I’m going home in five weeks. I can’t believe that in 2 weeks I will have been in Korea for an entire year.

I promised a blog entry about my vacation to Malaysia and Thailand, so here it is. Oddly, I f

eel it was not Southeast Asia that I learned the most about. For me, this trip ended up being about Korea- what it means to me, what I appreciate about it, what I hate about it, what it has given me as a person and a traveler.

Firstly, here’s a map for reference.

Kuala Lumpur and Bangkok are marked. Here's another map so you can see where Phuket is.

Our first stop was Kuala Lumpur, the capital of Malaysia. KL is considered a Muslim city, and it dawned on me on the airport shuttle-tran ride that that would actually influence our stay there because at the time, it was Ramadan. As we made our way to the airport exit, I worried about that we wouldn’t be able to find anything to eat during the day. We arrived really late at night so as soon as we made it to our hostel we crashed. We ended up being fine.

I could tell you about all the things we did when we were in KL- saw the Patronus Towers, went shopping, went to the top of the KL tower, but what I took away the most from KL was a sentiment.

It wasn’t until the next morning that I discovered how diverse KL is. I think it came as a shock after having lived in Korea for nearly a year. Every face that passed you on the street was different. Every tongue you heard from the conversations of passer-bys was different. I was in heaven!! Such a feast for the eyes, the ears, and the soul. As we walked around I learned that the population of KL consists of three main groups: native Malays, Indians, and Mandarin Chinese. The cuisine reflected those three ethnicities which mix and match in this beautiful city. (That was why we didn’t have any trouble finding food during the day). Eating in KL and Thailand was a re-introduction to flavors. As you now know from previous posts, Korean food consists of one flavor- hot chili pepper. Malay food, aside from being so diverse, was so flavorful. Garlic, ginger, basil, savory meat- where have you been?!?

The thing that struck me the most about KL was how similar it felt to Cape Town. I kept saying how similar they were but I couldn’t quite put my finger on why. I don’t think it was anything tangible- the two cities do not look the same in terms of architecture or anything. “This place reminds me of Cape Town” was one of the first comments I made about KL. I don’t know…there was something about flying down the highway in the airport taxi (on the other side of the road) staring at the palm-treed lined highway and feeling invincible and vulnerable at the same time. KL was the first stop on our trip, the beginning of a trip to foreign places. Beyond accommodation, we hadn’t made any solid itineraries, so anything could happen. The last time I felt that paradox of emotions was on the bus from the Cape Town airport when I first arrived. I felt so excited—a beginning of something unknown and exciting—yet also vulnerability. I didn’t know much about life in Cape Town, and now I didn’t know anything about life in KL.

Besides that, I think the striking diversity of KL made me think of Cape Town. Cape Town was the most diverse place I’d ever been to, and that was one of the things I loved about it. I think being in such a diverse place again reminded of that feeling again. Not to mention, when I calmed myself down enough to order a Savannah Dry (a South African hard cider that was my drink of choice in CT) at a nearby bar, that familiar subtle apple flavor mixed with the bitterness of beer brought back so many memories and emotions. People always talk about how smells can bring back memories and emotions. They never say anything about taste. Whenever I have the occasional craving to recreate my favorite childhood meal—acini de pepi pasta with butter and parmesan cheese accompanied by a glass of chocolate milk— memories and “feelings” of my childhood come flooding back. It’s really incredible, that brain of ours.

Another part I loved about KL was the pleasantness of the population. Folks were smiling, or at least looked content, as they went about their daily lives. You have to understand that this is NOT how it is at all in Korea, which is probably why it felt so refreshing to me. In KL, when I met a stranger’s eyes on the street, they gave me a smile or a polite nod. In Korea, I receive an open-mouthed gape then a quick, embarrassed look away once I stare back at them long enough. In general, Koreans aren’t happy people (not a shocker if you examine their lives, cultural mentalities and expectations). I had forgotten what a difference it makes when people are actually content with their lives. They carry themselves differently-with more ease and a lightness of character. They do not have their faces glued to their Smartphone or Galaxy Tab or iPad. The woman working behind the desk at 7-11—certainly not the most exciting or glamorous job—smiles at you and giggles when you make a face or joke to your friend. She says hello and smiles again when you go in a half-hour later, seemingly happy to see you again. When children see you they do not point; instead, they wave. AAAHHHHHHHHH (sign of relief). What a nice reminder.

After a short 2.5 days in KL, we traveled to our second destination- Phuket, Thailand (pronounced poo-ket…don’t get any ideas). Despite the name, Phuket is, simply put, paradise. It’s where people go for an exotic tropical vacation. I don’t blame them. Never have I seen water so blue. Phuket is definitely a tourist town. Normally, that would bother me, but this was the actually “vacation” part of our trip, so I didn’t mind. Everyone spoke English very well and there were tons of other tourists around (especially German and French). One of my favorite parts of Phuket (and one of the top experiences of the whole trip) was snorkeling. Our hostel helped book us a ferry trip to Ko Phi Phi Island, a famous group of islands about an hour boat ride away from main land Phuket. The ferry ride included snorkeling, views of all the gorgeous islands of Ko Phi Phi (including Maya Bay where the famous Leonardo DiCaprio movie “The Beach” was filmed) and time to explore and shop on the main island. Shopping on the main island was fun, but the snorkeling was definitely the highlight of the day. I mentioned the color of the water before- it was uninhibited, full out, no B.S. turquoise. I seriously didn’t know it was possible for water to look like that. It was in every sense of the word bright blue, as if there was a flood light under the surface shining light on it. I never expected to be surrounded by a turquoise oasis when I put my head into the water to snorkel. Purple and yellow-striped fish swam all around me. Beneath the fish was coral of every shape. If I was to paint what I saw on a canvas, I would use all bright and pastel colors.

I was surprised the fish never touched me because there were so many that seemed to inches from my flailing limbs trying to simultaneously balance in the life jacket and avoid other passengers snorkeling around me. (Funny side note about that. Sending a ferry-full of passengers into the same small section for snorkeling is a recipe for swimming-traffic disaster. I had several head-on collisions into other snorkelers, who were, like me, swimming forward face and eyes down watching fish instead of paying attention to the legs and arms coming towards them at the surface. Everyone was in such wonder that we didn’t even apologize to one another, just turned our bodies and went on our ways. Thinking about it now it was probably very comical for the crew and passengers onboard to watch us all swim into each other.)

Besides the congested traffic situation, it was really a wonderful experience. No really, wonderful. Full of wonder. I don’t think I’ve ever been in such awe of anything before. I was just as fascinated with the fish and coral as I was with the color of the water. At one point I turned around and swam away from the fish and instead into the clear, uninterrupted turquoise. If there was ever a time for music to accompany my life, this was probably it. In my head, Arial the Little Mermaid’s voice ahhh-ing to “Part of Your World” was in my head: “ahh ahh ahhh, ahh ahh ahh, ahh ah ah ah ah ahh ahh ahh AAAHHHHHH!” (You know what I’m talking about right?). I was in such awe of the blue and so deep into my musical daydream that I didn’t even realize that someone from the ferry crew was blowing his whistle at me because I was swimming out of bounds. Oops.

The nightlife in Phuket was really something else-“wonderful” in a completely different way. Thailand has quite an active sex industry, and it’s not tucked away and hidden from tourists. In fact, I think a lot of people, men especially, come to Thailand for that reason. Both nights at Patong Beach we found ourselves at the strip of bars and clubs down the road from our hostel, where advertisers where constantly asking us if we wanted to attend a “Ping Pong Show” which has NOTHING to do with playing ping pong, I’ll tell you that. We also encountered many “ladyboys” – men who (very convincingly) dress like women or have had sex-change procedures. These “ladyboys” (the Thai word for them translates into English as that term) are considered a third gender in Thailand, which I find fascinating. There were everywhere.

The strip of bars also featured girls dancing on ables in outdoor bars. Not drunk party girls dancing on tables, I mean hired scantily clad Thai girls dancing on tables (some of whom didn’t tlook like they could have been much older than my students). I wasn’t shocked to see hired girls dancing on tables, but I was shocked to see it outside for all to see. If I was shocked I can’t imagine how the other family tourists felt. While I was surprised to see the sex industry so blatantly open in a tourist area, I was previously aware of the sex industry in Thailand and how vital it is to their economy because of my HIV/AIDS research papers in college. I knew I was going to be exposed to it in some fashion when I was there. The vacationing families who were there with their 10-year old children clearly were not prepared for that. Parents walked a few paces in front of their children, wide-eyed and terrified while their children looked in awe and confusion all around them. I was disappointed in these people- they should have done their research before they brought their children there. That is, unless they did do their research and had prepared an appropriate discussion to have with their children.

In amongst all of this craziness we managed to find a really awesome bar where there was an awesome live band playing. There, we met a couple Australian guys who were in Phuket for their buddy’s bachelor party. Apparently, they were the only single ones out of the whole group of guys, so they were out. We jammed to the live band for a while and then we all went to a pool hall and played pool. They were genuinely nice guys so it was fun to hang out with them. We played a couple games of pool then went dancing at a club, where we found LOTS of tourist men with Thai women whom they had clearly bought for the night. Although the music and company were really great, I was really uncomfortable with all of that going on, so we left.

The next day, we left for our fancy beach resort at a different beach. The pictures speak for themselves there. It was AWESOME, especially the pool. We enjoyed our evening there a lot, especially watching the sunset from our private balcony.

The pool, from the pool (yes I brought my camera in)

Before I go on, a word about Thai food. Every Thai dish (done well) is said to have all 4 flavors in one- sweet, spicy, sour, and salty. Sadly, a lot of Thai food did not agree with my stomach (I was actually out of commission for one day in Bangkok due to a bout of food poisoning. Mleh), however what I did eat I enjoyed a lot. As I mentioned earlier, it was so nice to well…. not eat Korean food. I can’t say I ever got used to Korean food or enjoy it at all. I certainly won’t miss it when I come home. Someone get me an actually delicious pasta dish please!! Despite my, erm, traveler’s problems, the food was one of the highlights of the entire trip. I looked forward to every meal.

After our relaxing stay at the Karon beach resort, we were off to the airport again for Bangkok. My feelings about Bangkok are like my feelings for NYC- it was fun for a few days, but I could never live there. I honestly didn’t have a fantastic time in Bangkok. By the time we got there I was starting to feel ready to go back to Korea, where I know my way around and how things go, and to see Val. Our first day wasn’t great- we got lost and ended up doing a lot of walking on a very hot day. We did get to see the flower market, though, which I was happy about. The vendors for tuk-tuks (those little open three-tire cars), taxis, restaurants, souvenirs, EVERYTHING, were so aggressive. We were constantly declining offers for everything imaginable, and it got old quick. Not to mention, at the beginning of the day we (almost) got scammed by this guy who at first was being helpful and showing us things to do near our hostel, but then we realized it was a scam later on- the tuk tuk he got for us would supposedly take us to a few places then back to the area our hostel was in, but instead it would take us to a store where we are expected to buy things. We had read about scams like these in our guide book, so once we realized it we got out of it. That was not a pleasant experience, and not a positive introduction to Bangkok.

The next day I was sick in bed the whole day. Our last day there, though, was definitely the best one. We went to Wat Pho, which houses an enormous gold reclining Buddha in addition to many other temples and Buddhist structures. It was really beautiful and I had a field day with my camera. At Wat Pho alone I took almost 200 pictures. Then we went to the Museum of Siam which was one of the coolest museums I’ve ever been to. If I ever go back to Bangkok again, I would want to go with someone who speaks Thai and knows their way around.

Despite those negative experiences, I still really did enjoy my trip. I got to do and see so much and check off yet another region of the world that I’ve been to. I also really liked spending time with my friends Blythe and Michelle. I think one of the best parts of the trip were all of the inside jokes we came out of it with. Those are sometimes the best part of vacations!

When we finally arrived back in Korea, Valery was at the airport with a sign that said “I miss you baby.” So sweet :)

I sort of missed Korea, which surprised me. Although as soon as I was back on Korean soil it was back to being stared at and being surrounded by grumpy people, it felt familiar. Huh. Who’da thought?

If you haven’t heard already, my flight back to the states is booked. October 10^th I will be back on American soil. Here goes my last month of teaching…

Love,

Mel