Biting Into the Second Apple

Anyeong!

First, my announcement that I would be starting to teach classes on Friday was a false alarm. There was a miscommunication and it turns out that the last day of midterms was Friday so my REAL first day of teaching will be tomorrow, Monday. It's for real this time, so I'll update you on that soon.

There's probably only two or three of you who understand the title of this blog entry because it refers to a speech made by Quinton, our study abroad program director in Cape Town. During orientation, Quinton prepared us for living in a new country by explaining the 3 stages of culture shock with the metaphor of 3 apples. The first apple is sweet because it represents the "honeymoon phase" when everything is very exciting and new and you're just taking it all in. The second apple is a little sour because it represents the stage when you might start feeling homesick and frustrated with some of the cultural differences and ways of life in this new place. Finally, biting into the third apple is sweet once again because you start establishing a routine and feeling comfortable in this new place. You might have recently started making more friends, found something about the new place that excites you, or gained more confidence because you can finally find your way around, understand the public transportation system, or decorated your living space.

So as my title suggests, I've begun biting into the second apple just a little. Although I'm still in the honeymoon phase of seeing Val again (I'm not sure if it's ever going to go away!), now that I've been here for 3 weeks I've gotten a healthy dose of Korean culture. However in this post I'm not going to whine about how I'm feeling a little homesick, frustrated that I often can't find food that I like or am not able to read the ingredients or health facts because everything is written in Korean, or that I feel very out-of-the-loop at work because nobody tells me anything and I get hardly any notice about things because somebody forgets to clue me in because I don't understand Korean, because, well, I just told you! Instead I thought I'd make this post a little more interesting for everyone and talk about some observations I've made about Korean culture that are contributing to the sour taste of apple numero dos.

1) Koreans are very judgmental. They base A LOT on first impression alone, and I'm talking about VERY first impression because they put a ton of emphasis on how somebody looks. Koreans are extremely well dressed. Every single person you see is dressed very well in clothes that look high-quality and are tailored well. Women wear high heels with EVERY outfit, day or night, work or play, skirt or jeans. People at school have told me that all the students want to know if I am pretty. Val gets told by people that they like him solely because they find him handsome (can't blame them there). They even tell him that they like him better than his other friends because his friends aren't good looking. And I have been told multiple times that I am prettier than the previous English teacher at the school (which I think is ridiculous) so the students and other teachers are excited. Women are constantly fixing their make-up, dabbing their faces with those oil-absorbing sheets, etc. Many, many women carry designer bags. I'm talking Louis Vuitton, Coach, etc. And these are not knock-offs. In Korea if you look beautiful, you will be well-liked. Simple as that.

2) Foreigners, especially Americans, have celebrity status. Now this might sound great, but it's actually quite uncomfortable. Besides getting gawked at all the time, people feel very shy around me especially when they find out that I'm from New York. Of course, most Koreans don't understand that New York is also a state and when I try to explain that I don't live in New York City they just think I'm saying that I live outside the city. I don't bother trying to explain it anymore because people nod their heads like they understand and then still manage to think that I'm from NYC. NYC is THE city in the U.S. that everyone knows and like many other country everyone here has a dream to go the NY. And because they see NY on the TV all the time they get intimidated because I'm a "New Yorker." V's Korean Mom (who I now call as my colleague Cho Teacher) said that she was nervous to speak to me because I'm a "New Yorker", said in a voice of awe. I'm like "come on, I'm just regular ol' girl" but that doesn't really work here. Koreans will believe anything an English-speaking foreigner will say, especially an American. So this showcases my previous paragraph because it's an example of how judgmental people are. They base a lot on very little and have no interest in changing their minds. Korea is one of if not the most homogenous countries in the world, so they are not used to meeting people with different backgrounds or ideas. Everybody at least in urban Korea has the same experience of starting school very young, going to college, entering the workforce. I have yet to see a homeless person or a crummy car.

3) Korean food is spicy. Even when I ask if a dish is spicy they will say "No, not spicy", so I order it and it's still spicy. They love that hot pepper sauce!

4) Koreans don't watch where they are going. Walking on the street people don't really move out of the way to let you walk, they will just keep walking and bump into you without an apology. Also, they won't look up while they are texting, talking with others, or just looking down so they will just ram into you. Now it's not that Koreans are rude, it's just how Korea is. The country is the size of Indiana but has a population of about 50 million. Needless to say, it's crowded so people are used to being bumped, etc.

5. Koreans will huck-a-lougie (sp?). LOUD ones. Like, the loud, unmistakable throaty inhale that sounds like an elongated hebrew "ch" and powerful, juicy spit. I can deal with a lot of cultural differences but this one might cross the line for me. I can hear it from my room form people passing by on the street 2 stories down. It's disgusting.

Numbers 4 and 5 exemplify a major difference between Korean and American culture. As I found out when I read my "Living Abroad in South Korea" book, family life is the center of Korean society. For this reason, people don't feel the need to exert energy caring about strangers. In other words, they don't bother to hold the door for you, apologize when they bump into you, or spare their phlegmy projections because they don't care about you as a stranger. Everybody is just doing their own thing and down spare a thought for others. Sort of sounds like NYC, hah. It's an odd perception to us Americans who are used to (hopefully) apply basic politeness in their daily public encounters. It seems a little ironic to me, though since Koreans care so much about how they look in public. Haven't quite figured that one out yet.

This having been said, I have found Koreans to be generally kind, welcoming people. I am enjoying getting to know my co-workers and look forward to continuing to meet my own friends. I have decided to take up Korean lessons somehow, whether it be privately with a bi-lingual Korean, borrowing Val's books and learning on my own, or signing up for a Korean class at a nearby YMCA. Not only do I expect learning Korean to be a fun thing to do and I will learn quickly since it's full immersion, but also being able to eventually communicate more clearly with Koreans will ease my stresses and help me be me so I can make friends and not just be another alien, celebrity American to be shy around.

So I'll leave that for y'all to ponder as your weekend wraps up.
I miss everybody and the beautiful yet often short-lived Rochester fall weather. Enjoy those colorful leaves for me, I don't see many trees here in the city!


Love,
Mel